i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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