I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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