I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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