ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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