Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
