This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize