i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize