You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
