my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
