I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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