Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
