That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
