i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
