Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
