Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
