normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
