You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
