If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
