We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
