i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
