Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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