Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
