Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
