1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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