I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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