We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Randomize