She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
