My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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