He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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