I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
