Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
