I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
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