He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
