I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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