wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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