Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
