Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
