what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
