...so i touched it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
