I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
