my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize