Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
