it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
