3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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