Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
