some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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