I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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