Apparently you make a good broom.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
