I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Small penises have feelings too.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
