she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
