Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
