And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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