There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
