i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
