Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
