Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he fucked my hip out of place.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
