I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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