Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
