Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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