Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
